Key Takeaways: A Framework for Growth

This post, featuring insights from Meristem’s Executive Director, Erin Schirm, who introduces a powerful 3-step practice for personal growth rooted in the principle, “It Starts With Me.” The goal is not to work miracles, but to take the next possible step forward. This framework connects thinking (Concept), feeling (Practice), and doing (Value) to create lasting change.

The 3-Step Practice:

1. The Concept (The Head): Start with a single, powerful idea to ponder. For this exercise, the concept is Self-Reflection—the act of turning your attention inward to understand your own thoughts, feelings, and actions.
2. The Practice (The Heart): Engage with the concept through one of four core practices: Presence, Communication, Research, or Creative Thinking. This step connects the idea to your emotional and relational self.
3. The Value (The Will): Ground the practice in a core value that guides your actions. This makes the change real and tangible, turning an idea into a way of being.

Awaken the Possible: A 3-Step Guide to Turning Self-Reflection into Action

At Meristem, our slogan is “Awaken the Possible.” It’s a phrase that speaks not of grand, unattainable miracles, but of the quiet, profound power of taking the next small step forward. It’s about recognizing that the most significant changes in our lives don’t happen overnight; they are the result of consistent, intentional effort. And it all begins with a simple but powerful practice: “It Starts With Me.”

This principle asserts that lasting change isn’t something we can demand from the world or from others. It is something we must first model in ourselves. By taking the steps for our own growth, we create a path for others to see and, hopefully, to follow.

In this video, Meristem’s Executive Director, introduces a structured, 3-step weekly practice we use to turn abstract concepts into tangible personal growth. It’s a framework designed to engage the whole person—head, heart, and will—to ensure that our insights lead to real, lasting change.

The 3-Step Framework: From Concept to Value

As human beings, we exist on three levels: we think with our heads, we feel with our hearts, and we act with our will. Any practice for personal growth that only engages one of these is incomplete. Our framework is designed to integrate all three.

1. The Concept (The Head – Thinking): Every week, we start with a single concept to explore. This is a thinking activity. It could be an idea from a book, a question about a relationship, or a challenge you’re facing. The goal is to have something to ponder and understand intellectually.
2. The Practice (The Heart – Feeling): Next, we connect that concept to one of our four core practices: Presence, Communication, Research, or Creative Thinking. This is a heart activity. It’s about how we relate to the concept and to others, engaging our curiosity and our emotional selves.
3. The Value (The Will – Doing): Finally, we ground the practice in a core value. A value is not something we practice; it’s something we do. It’s a commitment to a way of being. This is a willing activity, where the concept becomes an action that shapes our lives.

Let’s walk through this framework using the concept of Self-Reflection, a perfect theme as we look back on the year and prepare for the next.

Also Read >> How to Build Self-Sufficiency in Autistic Young Adults: A Parent’s Guide

Step 1: The Concept – What is Self-Reflection?

Before we can practice self-reflection, we must understand what it truly means. The word itself gives us a powerful clue.

• Self: This refers to your own core being, your identity, the part of you that is separate from everything and everyone else.
• Reflection: This means to bend or turn back. When light hits a mirror, it reflects—it is thrown back from the surface.

So, self-reflection is the act of turning your attention inward, separating your core self from the noise of the world, and examining the feedback the world has thrown back at you based on your actions. It is a conscious and deliberate look at your own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Research shows that self-reflection promotes greater self-awareness, improved decision-making, and deeper alignment with core values, making it a foundational practice for personal growth.

Step 2: The Practice – Using Presence to Gather Data

Now, we connect the concept of self-reflection to a practice. For this exercise, we use the first and most fundamental practice: Presence.

Presence is the practice of being simultaneously aware of your inner self (your thoughts and feelings) and your outer self (what is happening around you and how your body feels). Without presence, self-reflection is impossible. You cannot reflect on feelings you haven’t allowed yourself to feel or on actions you performed on autopilot.

The practice is to look backward on the year and become present with key moments. Don’t just remember them; try to re-inhabit them.

• Identify Key Moments: Think back on the year. What were the highs? The lows? The moments of significant change or decision?
• Re-experience the Moment: Pick one of those moments. Close your eyes and put yourself back in that situation. What did you feel in your body? What thoughts were running through your head? What actions did you take?
• Gather the Data: As you sit with this memory, notice what comes back to you. This is the “reflection.” What feeling arises now? What new thought or insight emerges? You are not judging the moment; you are simply collecting information about it.

This is how you gather the raw data for growth. You have to be present with your past self to learn from them.

Step 3: The Value – Using Collaboration to Create Change

Finally, we link our practice to a value to turn our reflection into action. For this exercise, we use the value: “I am the change I wish to see (Collaboration).”

This might seem counterintuitive. Isn’t self-reflection a solo activity? Yes, but the purpose of that reflection is to understand how we can show up differently in the world, which is an inherently collaborative act. We change ourselves to improve our interactions with others and our community.

After gathering data through the practice of presence, you now ask yourself three questions based on this value:

1. What would you keep? From your reflection, what did you do really well? What actions led to positive feelings, effective outcomes, and strong connections? These are the things to sustain.
2. What would you change? As you re-experienced a moment, what made you cringe? What do you wish you had done differently? This isn’t about shame; it’s about identifying an opportunity for growth.
3. What do you need to sustain and change? Growth takes energy. To keep doing what works, what resources do you need (e.g., more rest, better organization)? To change what doesn’t work, what support do you need (e.g., a new skill, a difficult conversation, help from a friend)?

This final step is where self-reflection becomes a plan. It’s where “It Starts With Me” becomes a real, actionable commitment.

Conclusion: Your Holiday Practice

This 3-step process—Concept, Practice, Value—is a cycle you can use for any area of your life. It’s a way to move beyond simply having good intentions and toward building a life aligned with your deepest values.

As we enter the holiday season, a time of natural reflection, we invite you to try this practice for yourself. Take the concept of Self-Reflection, use the practice of Presence to look back on your year, and apply the value of Collaboration to decide what you will keep, what you will change, and what you need to make it happen.

Don’t shoot for the moon. Just awaken the possible. It starts with you.